This is how BUSHFALLING affects your chances of finding a Good Life Partner
Finding a good life partner is not an easy task. In some cultures, it's sooo difficult, parents have to do it for their children. Most of the time Our (Cameroonian) culture allows us to freely choose. Research shows that, we are more likely to bond with people with whom we share a common culture (language, habits, customs, race).
In our local towns and villages back in Cameroon, we usualy all share a common culture (pidgin, afritude, fufu & eru, negro).. this creates a larger pool of women (if you are male) for finding a GOOD partner. i.e. So let's say for every 50 women there's a chance that 1 of them will be a Good partner for you. (1 in 50)... that means if there are 5000 eligible women in your local town, you have 100 women you could be happy with.
When you 'fall Bush' however, you emigrate to a new and usually 'foreign' country with a different culture. You then find yourself with a smaller pool of women (if you are male) from which to find a Good Partner. Say you went to the UK, where there are about 200 elligible women (in the whole coutry). This brings down your chance of finding a Good partner down to a miserable 4. That is 4 in the whole of the UK.. not even your local UK town.
There are a few ways out:
- Stay strong and wait till you find one of these 4 women, which could take years and who knows, they may have been taken already.
- Seek out other good matches in another country like the US ( be ready for high phone bills and anxiety attacks)
- Try bringing your cherie from Cameroon to join you where you are.
- Try your luck with the other 196 who are not a good match and regret for the rest of your life.
- Try finding a match from your new and 'foreign' country (sarah ngah or Akata)
- Stay single and proud
- Turn gay
Time Bomb??
Does the above describe one of the choices you have made? Are you happy with the choice you made? Let me say this, Bushfalling is great in many ways. But 10-15 years from now, we will have a crisis on our hands.
The crisis will occur for one of two reasons:
- People made the wrong choice and decided to stay with the wrong partner or stay unmarried. This leads to an increase in divorce rates, separated homes, unhappy bushfallers and endemic depression. Unmarried bushfallers will be preying on the few who are married and destroying families and wrecking relationships (this is already happening anyway).
- People marry out of their natural communities (sarah nga or Akata) and lose their identity leading to a massive brain drain and breakdown of our community.
So how do we get out of this?
Increase your chances of meeting the right person.
- Join or create groups with people who have similar interests in your local area.
- The internet is a great networking tool. There are loads of Cameroonian websites, soban.net, camdates.net, yaahoo groups etc that bring together paysans for interesting reasons. Join them. Keep your head up.
It's unfortunate that despite all the gains of going abroad for a better life, we are putting at stake one of the most important reasons for living life, companionship and Love. Paradoxical ain't it?
g.nupa